Slaminatrix

It wasn’t easy watching the penguins go at it night and day but Peter Parnell was determined to find some evidence of criminal behavior amongst his critters even if it meant staving off his own ravenous sexual hunger, hunger that had been building for 8 long months, ever since he moved to this godforsaken continent to do his doctoral research.

“I know vhat you are sinking, Peter.” Dr. von Berlow groaned in his guttural low-German.

“You are sinking you vish you had ze sexual stamina of dese Emperor penguins.”

Peter blushed. It was true. He struggled to maintain his dignity.

“I’m fine Dr. B.  Read more…

Stumbling across the train tracks in a daze, Elmer fought desperately to stay alive. The Dolly Parton wig he’d stuffed into the hole in his left thigh had bled through, creating a color only a young person could love. Elmer feared if he didn’t get help soon he’d never hula again.

“What an idiot!” he thought, pushing past his pain.

But there was no going back. The entire Texas panhandle was swarming with MPs looking for a tubby middle-aged white man in a grass skirt.

“How was I to know?” Elmer wailed at the night.

The sergeant had started out all frisky and playful.

Then,  Read more…

by Lisa Martinovic

Exene pioneered the wearing of Saran wrap snug around one’s wrists and elbows. She had always been fashion forward, but this was a trend that wouldn’t really take off until the first year after Apocalypse. By then Exene had moved on to cardboard hats on which she drew daisies using nubs of coal.

The end of the world is no reason to stop honoring one’s creative impulses. That was Exene’s motto.

Wexler was a gleaner. These days, who wasn’t? He first spied Exene warming her tiny hands over a propane flame in the crumbling entrance to a one-time BART station.  Read more…

by Lisa Martinovic

Bobo Canelli wasn’t cut out to be a hit man. But that alone didn’t explain his presence on a cattle car lurching across Siberia.

He slapped a fat mosquito feeding on his forearm. “Damn Russkie bugs!”

The other passengers ignored him and continued dozing in the hypnotic heat of summer on the plains.

Bobo wondered if he’d made a mistake, uprooting his life in the Bronx, and selling everything for a one-way ticket to Vladivostok where Annabelle Marsh had vowed to meet him for an unforgettable first date.

This was Bobo’s first stab at Internet dating.

When he told Mama Canelli of his  Read more…